Jokes!

Write cool or funny jokes here: Alexander: Q.Why is a soccer field always wet? A.Because the players dribble all over it!!! Get it dribble as in to dribble a ball and dribble as in to spit.

Portuguese Satchel Guy's Top 10 Blond jokes: Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!

The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

//"Six please"// she said, //"I could never eat twelve!"//

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

//"Where did you get that?"// The pig replied,

//"I won her in a raffle!"//

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin,

//"For best results, put on two coats".//

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde:

//"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!// Second Blonde:

//Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!//

Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

//"I think they could be bird tracks."//

The second blonde went to look and said,

//"No, I think these are deer tracks."//

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

//"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."//

A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

//"You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"//

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

//"I can't take this, you're my friend."// But the blonde insisted saying,

//"No. A bet's a bet."//

Then the redhead said

//"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."//

The blonde replied

//"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"//

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, //"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"// She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, //"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"// The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, //"157."// The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. //"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"//